Spec of dust

The fog is thick, driving along is actually scary, like driving blind, yet you can still see headlight's from the oncoming cars. Its cold and scary. Sitting in The Buxhall Crown with Ian, next to the fire it was warm and I was comfortable, knowing already this man sitting across from me in nothing more then a friend, it was fine.
"I use to write poems" I said, Ian replied "how old were you?", "it was about 18months ago" I said. "why dont you write anymore?" to the I replied...
"I dont feel things like I felt before"
Sitting in the crown, with the warm orange and red heat coming from the beautiful fire, it hit me. Actually hit me hard, like a bullet into the side of your body, hit me right through the middle through the heart and clean cut perfect out the other side, asif it wasnt even there to start with.
I dont feel the things I felt anymore, I dont write anymore because of this, he might have been my muse, yet didnt help a fractured heart, if anything made the facture harder to heal, wripping the wound apart at any given chance.
All the highs, the lows everything inbetween is gone, he's gone, I dont even think about him anymore. And its the most amazing feeling, I am so strong, proud of myself, I am so together, figuring out you cant do it all in a day, I am only 22, I have forever ahead...I am actually going to go on now and have babies, get married, have a family, be normal, because he is gone, I believe my head let him go along time ago but my heart has just found its freedom...I am free and feel good.
Fact of the matter is, I am one person in this whole world, in all the countrys, states, countys, religions, races and belifes...I am one little soul, there is a whole world out there, so much to find for myself and I am going to do it, starting with Ireland in March, then who knows, I have the world in my hands, my world, i'll do it my way, just like Frankie said. But that one person I would sit in my flat and write about day in, day out, he was my be all and end all, life was not worth living without him, he was my world, fact of the matter is...this is the world and he is just a spec of dust in it....nothing at all!